Omphalos
by Viperdae
Summary: Dib sank back into his seat with a sigh. "Great. We're not even here five minutes and we've already got Irken police trying to arrest us." ZADE/ZADF. Written for eattheboring for the Invader Zim tumblr Secret Santa.
1. Arrival

"Wow," Dib breathed.

"Amazing, isn't it?" Zim said smugly. "It's so far beyond what your pitiful human brain could have ever imagined."

"Shut up, Zim," he replied absently, too awestruck to trade insults. He pressed his hands against the Voot's windshield, earning an irritated comment from Zim about 'disgusting sticky human fingerprints' and leaned in until his nose was nearly pressed against the glass-like material.

Irk lay below them. Massive structures enveloped the planet, stretching not only far and wide but high into the sky. It was impossible to see if there was even any ground below; it looked as if every surface was covered by a structure in different hues of pink and purple. Clusters of bright lights were attached to any open spot, bathing the planet in glowing incandescence.

Dib squinted, movement below catching his eye. On platforms and beyond rosy glass, figures moved. They looked like ants milling around. The human felt a grin lighting up his features. Irk was truly a sight to behold, and he was the first (and likely last) human to ever set eyes upon it.

"Enough gawking, human!" Zim screeched. "You are not here to sight-see! Do you remember your instructions or do you need Zim to refresh your puny primitive brain?"

"Actually, sight-seeing is like 40% of the reason I agreed to come. And no, you don't need to remind me. I think I can remember 'be quiet and look tall so other Irkens are impressed by you having a tall acquaintance.'"

"A tall slave!" Zim corrected enthusiastically.

Dib raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Oh? And what are you expecting me to do as your slave?"

"Well!" Zim started. "You are to, um, erm, follow Zim wherever he goes... yes... and... carry my stuff?"

Dib crossed his arms. "You don't have any stuff."

"Don't be stupid, Dib-slave," Zim reached under his seat and pulled out a small crinkly bag, shoving into the human's hands. "There! Guard it well!"

The human examined it for a moment. "A snack? Seriously? You know I'm just going to eat this when your back is turned."

"Don't you dare!" Zim screeched, swiping the bag back into his grasp. "Horrible disobedient creature," he grumbled.

Dib rolled his eyes. "Can we get going? I'm beyond cramped in here."

"Not so fast, Dib-beast, there's one last thing to take care of."

Zim jumped out of his seat and abruptly smacked the side of Dib's head.

"Argh, what the hell?" He raised a hand to the side of his head, feeling a small pinprick of pain stinging his skull.

"No need to thank me, human," Zim replied smugly. "On second thought, there is; grovel in gratitude for ZIM'S generous gift!"

Dib traced the tiny metallic edge of the thing lodged into the side of his temple. "What did you do?" He glared at the small creature looking smugly at him.

Zim gave a theatrical sigh. "Silly foolish dumb human. Haven't you realized? It's a translator. I'm speaking Irken now. I can't be bothered to translate everything to your big head when we land."

"A translator..." Dib rubbed his temple, his anger ebbing a little. "I'm sure there was a less painful way to do that."

Zim shrugged. "Maybe? Irkens add new data and modules to our packs when we need to. This seemed like the simplest idea to improve your puny brain."

"You just wanted an excuse to hit me, didn't you?"

"Nonsense!" Zim exclaimed cheerfully. "Now buckle up, human, it's time to land!"

"I'm going to get you back for this," Dib grumbled, activating the seatbelt.

"Psh, so ungrateful," Zim grinned, taking the ship lower into Irk.

Dib rolled his eyes, but his attention was soon focused on the landscape before him. Zim was clearly trying to show off, but the human wasn't complaining. They zoomed past the imposing metallic buildings, past lights and a cacophony of noises. Up close, Dib could see Irkens everywhere; groups marching with purpose, clusters huddled together, individuals navigating the sea of green aliens. He tried to commit it all to memory. Zim had broken his camera on the journey (he'd only tried to take a few short videos of the undisguised Irken...).

He jolted when the indistinct sounds were abruptly drowned out by a shrill siren.

"What's that?" Dib craned his head around his shoulder to see a larger ship gaining ground on them.

"Oh, those most be some Enforcers. Flying this low on Irk is strictly forbidden," Zim answered casually.

"Then why are you flying so low?!" Dib asked, exasperated.

The Irken shot him an annoyed glance, like he couldn't believe the human was so dense. "Obviously those kinds of rules don't imply to ZIM! I'm the greatest invader Irk has ever had! Those foolish drones following us just don't know it's me!"

Dib sank back into his seat with a sigh. "Great. We're not even here five minutes and we've already got Irken police trying to arrest us."

After several nail-biting minutes of near misses, swooping between bridges and jerky turns between enormous structures, they arrived at a docking area. Zim set the ship down a bit roughly ("I meant to do that, of course. I was, uh, trying to scare you!").

The windshield slid back and Dib stretched out his cramped muscles. He stepped out of the ship, the first human to ever stand on Irken land. His heart was thudding with excitement at finally arriving on the planet and worry about the pursuing Irken ship that was now landing beside them.

This was it. No matter what happened next, he'd made history.

Zim jumped out and stood by his side, puffing his chest out and standing as tall as he possibly could.

The Enforcer's ship opened…


	2. Arrest

The Enforcer's ship opened and four Irkens sprang out, each adopting a combat stance, weapons raised.

"Identify yourselves!" The tallest of the quartet barked.

Dib barely heard her, his attention captured by the sleek glowing guns pointed at him. The Irkens in front of him were all significantly shorter than him, but even the smallest was taller than Zim. Their faces were stoic, their aim steady.

"I am ZIM!" Zim responded, just as loudly. "This is my human slave, Dib!"

"Zim?" The shorter member of the group echoed, his eyes widening and face turning pale.

"Be silent," hissed the tallest, who appeared to be the group's leader. "Remember your training." Turning her eyes back to the pair, she tapped a small device attached to her uniform at the neck. "Requesting backup, code Zeta Iota Mu."

"Code ZIM?" Dib couldn't help interjecting. "Is it normal for Irkens to have their own codes?"

The shortest Enforcer whimpered, moving to hide behind one of his partners.

Zim grinned, oblivious to the fear around him. "Of course not! They must have made a special code to celebrate my return! I told you I'm famous, Earth-stink."

The leader's eyes narrowed for a moment before she schooled her expression. "You are in violation of Irken Law #58443581 – flying in a restricted zone without proper clearance. You will be taken to the Tallests immediately for punishment."

"Ah yes, the Tallests must be eager to see me," Zim responded cheerfully. "I'm their favourite Invader," he added to Dib.

"Sure you are," Dib sighed. He'd spied on many transmissions between Zim and his Tallests. It was pretty clear to anyone how they felt about him. At least, to everyone but Zim.

"You will accompany us in our ship. Board now."

"Hurry, Dib-filth! We can't keep my Tallests waiting!" Zim pushed Dib forward, a spring in his step.

Dib reluctantly complied. It wasn't as if he had much choice; the other Irkens hadn't lowered their weapons and he didn't want to find out how deadly their shots would be. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with Irken air. It tasted somewhat metallic, but it wasn't unpleasant. He hadn't seen anything remotely plant-like yet, and he hoped he'd have a chance to learn why Irk still had a breathable atmosphere.

They boarded the ship, Dib sitting in the back between the two shorter Enforcers, who stole curious glances at him when they thought he wasn't looking. Zim was between the taller two – the leader piloting the ship and the other openly glaring at him.

The ship took off, the pilot flying slower and smoother than Zim. A small group of similar ships soon joined them, flying just behind. Dib leaned back, trying to get comfortable, hoping the punishment wasn't execution.

Zim was chatting excitedly, not caring that no one else was paying attention. Until…

"Look, Dib-filth! It's the citadel! That's where my Tallests are!"

Dib's mouth fell open. The citadel was enormous, at least as wide as five city blocks on Earth and towered above the other massive structures. But unlike Irk's other buildings, its visage wasn't broken up by any windows. It was entirely dark magenta metal, an imposing, impenetrable mass.

They docked and left the ship, Enforcers still at their sides with grim expressions.

"Zim!" Dib hissed, aware of how the other Irkens twitched their antenna, listening in. "Just how much trouble are we in?"

Zim just turned to look back at him, an unconcerned smile on his face as they were lead through the building's doors. Dib was not reassured in the slightest.

Dib's mouth fell open as they entered the citadel. It was not remotely what he was expecting. Everything he'd seen of Irk so far was sleek and metal and modern, but here was intricately carved stone-like material, mostly a dusty pink with bright magenta streaks running through it. Above him he could see ornate staircases, winding their way to higher floors, fading into the darkness of the upper levels.

He stopped, staring for several moments.

An Enforcer gave him a shove. "We are not to keep the Tallests waiting," scowled the Irken.

"What…" Dib blinked and quickened his step to catch up with Zim. "Why is this place so different?" He asked.

Zim looked around and made a face. "It's one of the last remaining pieces of ancient Irk. Back when we were a more… primitive species. Still not as primitive and pathetic as you humans however! It's an important headquarters for the Tallests, which is why it's only been added to, not destroyed and rebuilt."

"Ancient Irk…" Dib murmured to himself. He wondered how long ago that was, but he didn't have time to ask. A set of doors were opened and he was pushed through.

They entered a large room, the Tallests sat on cushy seats on a raised dais, half-listening to an Irken displayed on a large screen against the far wall. Tallest Purple was drinking from a cup with a straw and Tallest Red had a hand in a brightly coloured crinkly bag. They glanced at the newcomers, their faces neutral until their eyes landed on Zim.

The cup went crashing to the floor, bright blue liquid flying everywhere. Tallest Red started choking.

"Zim? What are you doing here?" Tallest Purple gaped at them.

"They-" An Enforcer began.

"Greetings my Tallests!" Zim interrupted, raising a hand in salute. "I received the broadcast for all Irkens to return to Irk for a pak update."

"That signal shouldn't have reached past the Fornax Cluster!" Tallest Red managed to stop choking long enough to sputter out.

"I've upgraded my receiving system! Since we had so many issues with your signal when I sent my reports, I sent out some satellites to improve it. As you can expect from your greatest Invader!"

"Of course you did," Tallest Red sighed. "Enforcer – why did you bring him here?"

"This Irken violated Law #58443581, he has been brought here for punishment," the Enforcer replied, bowing to the Tallests.

"Mmm, law 58… um…" Purple trailed off.

"It's flying in restricted airspace, my Tallests," said the Enforcer.

"Oh, yes, of course!" Purple straightened up. "What was the punishment for that, Red?"

"I believe it's death," Red replied with a grin.

Zim's eyes widened. "My Tallests?"

"No no no no," Dib started muttering under his breath, glancing back at the exit. He felt one of the Enforcers clamp a firm hand on his arm.

Purple gestured to the Enforcers, "Put them in a cell for now. We'll have an official decommissioning and execution this evening."

"W-wait, my Tallests! Give Zim another chance, I've almost conquered Earth- hey, get your hands off of me!" Zim struggled in the grip of the other Irkens.

A light flashed, blinding Dib temporarily. When his vision cleared, he could see Zim's pak shining brightly for a moment before dimming to a faint glow.

"Hey! What did you do to my pak? Stop that! Mmmpphh!" Zim was gagged and cuffed and then they were roughly forced to walk. Dib struggled, but the small Irkens had an iron grip on him. They were practically dragged into an elevator, which quickly brought them down… and down…

Eventually, when Dib was genuinely starting to wonder if the elevator went straight through Irk and would deposit them on the other side, they stopped.

The doors opened to reveal a nondescript hallway, no marking marring the dark pink walls. An Enforcer's pak opened and connected to a wall, which opened into a small room.

They were thrown inside, the door was sealed, and their captors departed.


	3. Agitation

Dib picked himself up from the floor, rubbing his arm where it had smashed against the floor when he was thrown in. He looked around the room, expecting to see something analogous to a human jail cell. Instead, it was… empty.

There were no beds, no toilet, no desk or shelves. The room was utterly empty. Four dark magenta walls closed them in. The only sign of an exit was a tiny gap between the wall and the floor on one side.

Dib ground his teeth together, just about ready to murder his alien companion. Zim was shaking his head, trying to dislodge the gag, to little success.

"I know I'm going to regret this," Dib grumbled to himself as he yanked off the material.

"Bleh! How dare those unworthy drones attempt to silence a mighty Irken elite like myself? I will destroy them!"

"That's not likely to happen considering our circumstances," Dib growled at him. "Seriously, what is wrong with you? Ten minutes on Irk and you've gotten us sentenced to death!" He tugged at his hair until it was painful. "So much for being your 'Tallest's Favourite', huh?" He added sarcastically.

"Eh?" Zim looked up at him, mouth slightly open. His magenta eyes huge. "My Tallests… they…"

"Finally he gets it," Dib muttered under his breath.

"No… no…"

Dib sighed, starting to run his hands along the smooth walls, searching for any sort of button or device.

"No…" Zim repeated. "No. I get it now!"

Dib turned back to see Zim grinning wildly.

"My Tallests are just playing a prank! Of course! I can't believe it took me so long to realize! Haha, they must be having a good laugh. They got us good."

Dib's mouth fell open. "You're kidding."

"Foolish, gullible human," Zim replied smugly. "Irkens love to play pranks on each other! Why, there was this one time during elite training, Red hacked my ship data to show the energy tanks at full capacity when there was only 10%! I had to latch onto Skoodge's ship with my last bit of power and we crashed into Planet Rock! Good times." The Irken had a faraway look on his face.

"That's called 'trying to kill you', not a prank, Zim," Dib tried.

"Don't be stupid, Dib-filth. Irken pranks are supposed to be dangerous, that's how we learn!"

"Right. And I guess you'll still be saying that when they rip your pak off and then do whatever they have planned for me?"

Zim pondered for a moment, his expression turning serious. "Hmm. My Tallests must be expecting me to escape. Yes… it will show my great abilities if I am able to escape from Irk's highest security prison!"

Dib opened his mouth and closed it after a moment. "Okay…" he started slowly, "We can argue about those details later. Let's focus on our escape then. Got any ideas?"

They looked around the room, eyes scanning the featureless walls.

"Eh, yes, I have many ideas. So many! But first I want to hear what your primitive human brain has come up with."

"So you've got nothing. Great. I can't even be completely mad at you because I knew what I was getting in to. Why did I want to come with you? I must be as crazy as you are stupid," Dib grumbled, knocking his head against the hard wall.

"How dare you?" Zim sprung to his feet, eyes blazing. Dib would been worried if his pak was operational, but clearly the light display from earlier had messed with it. And with the alien's hands bound behind his back, he couldn't even scratch the human.

Dib pushed away from the wall, straightening his posture. He knew how much the little pest hated being reminded of their height difference. Zim's eyes flashed with anger.

"You will regret speaking that way to your future slave-master!" Zim yelled.

"Well there isn't much you can do about that now, is there?"

"I will destroy you, human!"

"Yeah? Are you going to annoy me to death? Because that's all you're capable of doing right now!"

"Arghh! I'd blow us both up if I could reach my self-destruct button! That would teach you to mock the all-mighty ZIM!"

"Wait, self-destruct button?"

Zim's eyes went wide. "Don't you dare try to touch it, human! I will bite off your disgusting arm if you try!"

"No, Zim, I think-"

"Don't you dare!"

"We could take it off and-"

"I will destroy you!"

"Use the explosion to blow open a wall!"

"…What?"

"Do you have a better idea?" Dib raised an eyebrow at him, already knowing the answer.

Zim clenched his teeth together and exhaled, making a small hiss. "Fine. You must open my pak and remove some tools first. But your clumsy fat fingers will probably end up killing us both."

"I think I can handle it," the human replied dryly.

He moved behind Zim, reaching over to run his hands along an almost invisible seam in the pak. Despite his anger at the alien and his worries about their current situation, he couldn't stop a small rush of thrill flow through him at the chance to get up close to Zim's pak. The little device was fascinating, though too dangerous to mess with without Zim's consent, as he'd learned many years ago.

Zim was tense, clearly uncomfortable, but he gave Dib the orders he needed to open the pak and recover a small kit of delicate tools. It wasn't something Irkens would typically carry with them, but Zim found himself making modifications to his pak quite regularly and had kept tools on his person for years.

"Pull back my glove on my right arm."

Dib carefully tugged at the glove, pulling down as far as he could with Zim's hands still bound, revealing the self-destruct device.

Carefully, deliberately, he was able to detach the device and remove it entirely. Zim's arm was dripping with pink blood, but Dib had kept the damage to a minimum.

"Do you think it'll work?" Dib was feeling less confident now. "I mean, surely they would have precautions against this sort of thing, right?"

Zim shrugged, taking the device and placing it against the lower wall. "Only Invaders get these and I've never heard of any others being arrested, so they might not have bothered to make the walls blast-proof. Now stand in front of me, Dib-shield."

"You little-"

"Three seconds, Earth-filth!"

"Damnit Zim!" He crouched in the far corner beside Zim, back to the explosion.


	4. Assistance

**BOOM!**

It was deafening. And hot. He felt the heat seep through his trench coat and into his back until his skin stung.

When he was able to grasp his surroundings again, Dib quickly surveyed himself and Zim. Their clothes had sustained some burns and he felt like some hair had been scorched off the back of his head, but the explosion had been relatively localized.

He looked at the source and…

"Damn." The dark pink wall was scorched, slightly bent at the bottom, but only enough for a hand to pass through.

Zim, however, jumped up and flashed a grin. "Success!" He strode over and kicked at the damaged wall. To Dib's surprise, it bent a tiny bit.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Dib kept his ears pricked for anyone noticing the racket as the Irken slowly widened the gap between wall and floor.

Zim slipped through as soon as the opening was large enough for him. Dib quickly knelt down and yanked the gap a few inches wider, shoving himself through with difficulty, adding a few rips to his trenchcoat in the process.

"Try to keep up," Zim declared smugly, taking off deeper into the featureless halls.

Dib glanced back towards the elevator they came from, then towards Zim who was heading in the opposite direction. He wavered for a moment before following the alien, already regretting his decision.

Zim took him through heavy doors, hacking the security systems impressively fast (with his hands behind his back, literally), they took multiple elevators, ran through huge rooms with huge machinery that Dib was sorely tempted to stop and study, they even passed through what looked like some sort of kitchen.

"Where are we?" Dib asked, panting. The sleek prison walls had been left behind some time ago, they were in a shabbier area, and Dib had a sense that they were even deeper inside the planet.

Zim glanced back at him, an odd smile on his lips. "We're in Lower Irk, where Irkens train and learn until we reach maturity."

"So you grew up here?" Dib looked around with more curiosity. The air was warm and the ceilings were lower here. "Where is everyone?"

"It's time to eat. They must be in the food hall. Aha, here it is!" Zim stopped at a particularly grubby door, the singed pink metal moving open automatically as he approached. "One moment, stink-beast," he slipped inside.

It was a workroom, Dib noted to himself as he poked his head in. Alien machineries were attached to the outer walls, the inside of the room had tables with various devices in differing states of completion. He carefully entered the room, slouching a bit to fit under the short ceiling.

The human found himself reaching for a particularly interesting spherical machine that glowed with blue energy in the center. He stopped short, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Probably a bad idea to touch partially finished piece of alien machinery made by a kid," he muttered to himself, pulling his hand away reluctantly.

Zim started up some sort of laser saw machine and in a few seconds his broken cuffs were dropped from his wrists. The Irken sighed happily, bringing his arms back to their natural position. His wrist was still bleeding, dipping specks of blood all along their journey. Zim squeezed his arm just above the injury.

"You know, anyone who sees you down here will murder you on sight. Outsiders are strictly prohibited in Lower Irk," he said casually, slipping out the door and starting down the hallway again.

"You're kidding, right?" Dib asked in disbelief, looking around the hall for any movement. "But I'm with you?"

"They won't care," replied Zim with a smirk, turning the corner and starting down another hall. "They'd all love the honour of defeating an intruder. Also, it's pretty boring down here. It would be the highlight of an Irken's life until he saw the surface for that first time."

They bickered for several minutes about whether Zim was lying or not and whether Dib would be able to survive against a group of young Irkens. Zim was still animatedly arguing when he opened a door marked with an Irken face and an odd symbol Dib couldn't decipher and walked in.

An Irken sat at a desk against the wall, reading from a tablet. Shelves lined the upper part of the room, filled with neatly organized bottles and small boxes. He looked at the visitors and his expression was devoid of surprise. He was quite old, and Dib realized this was the first time he'd seen wrinkles and age marks on an Irken. He carried himself with an air of dignity, despite his slightly slouched frame.

Zim walked up to him and thrust out his bleeding arm, still arguing with Dib.

"Furthermore, Irkens are finely-tuned killing machines by the time we even get our first pak upgrade, while YOU, despite being a human 'adult' are still a pathetic dumb-!" Zim froze. The other Irken had placed a calm hand on his head, resting his open palm by the base of Zim's antenna.

Dib tensed, waiting for Zim to yell or lash out against the other alien. But instead, to his surprise, Zim's shoulders relaxed, his eyes closed a little, and he stopped talking.

The human gaped.

"What… what are you doing?" He couldn't resist asking.

"It's calming," replied the medical Irken, his pak opening and a snake-like appendage slipping out grabbing something from a high shelf. He kept the hand on Zim's head as he popped off the lid of the container and used his free hand to apply a gel along the injury. "I have many young Irkens showing up in my office, agitated and restless. I learned how to keep them still centuries ago." His pak arm placed a small device in his hand, slightly larger than a pen. He ran it along the wound and a layer of a thin pink material covered it.

"We are done now. You were very brave," the Irken spoke to Zim, petting his head once before removing his hand. It sounded like a canned phrase to Dib, but Zim smiled quite sincerely and raised his hand in a salute.

"Thank you for your assistance, medical drone Vez!"

Vez nodded, tilting his chin, a small smile gracing his weary features as the pair left.

"He didn't want to kill me," Dib pointed out the moment the door shut.

Zim rolled his eyes. "Of _course_ not! Vez respects my authority as an Invader, he would never harm my human slave."

"Right," Dib responded sarcastically.

"Even an old medical drone like Vez could defeat you in seconds." Zim stated confidently.

"Ha! I could take him," Dib responded easily.

Zim laughed, turning away from the human and marching onwards.

Zim seemed more relaxed as they made their way through the rest of the complex. They passed a window into a large room and Dib ducked as soon as he realized what was inside. After a moment, he dared to peak his head above to glimpse into the area.

Hundreds of Irkens sat around tables, eating brightly coloured paste-like material from plates. They were noticeably smaller than the Irkens Dib had seen on the surface. Some were even smaller than Zim. Dib marveled at them. This was the first chance he'd really gotten to see so many Irkens up close. His eyes took in their different shaped antenna, some with one delicate bend, some quite curly, some with more bizarre shapes. There were clearly friend groups sitting together, chatting, and Dib noted that with fascination. He hadn't really imagined Irkens as having friends, from what knowledge he'd gained from watching Zim.

"What's the plan?" He asked when he managed to tear his eyes away.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, the plan." Zim kept walking.

"Zim!"

"Don't worry your big head, human, Zim has a great plan, the likes of which you've never seen!"

"…"


	5. Attack

A chime sounded.

Dib only had a brief moment to consider the pleasant sound that rung through the speaker system before Irkens started spilling out of the large doors nearby.

Immediately they noticed the unusual duo in the hallway, stopping short and staring, eyes wide.

They were so small. Their eyes seemed too big for their bodies, deep jewel tones sparkling in the artificial light. Their limbs looked so tiny and delicate. They were _cute_ , Dib had to admit.

"Uh, hi?" He tried to sound friendly.

All the Irkens whipped out guns or other small dangerous-looking devices.

 _Maybe not so cute_ , thought Dib, his stomach sinking.

"No! Only ZIM gets to choose when and how the human dies!" Yelled Zim angrily, drawing himself to his full height.

To Dib's surprise, this seemed to make the little Irkens pause for a moment. It was just enough time for Zim to roughly grab him by his arm and start running.

They could hear high-pitched shouts as they pushed through the crowd and took off racing down the corridor. The squeak of many pairs of boots against the floors soon followed the fleeing pair.

Zim turned a corner and froze, causing Dib to nearly trip over him. The human opened his mouth to say something snarky when the words died on his lips. Ahead of them, drawing their weapons, were a group of Enforcers. It was clear from the looks on their faces that they'd found their quarry.

"Shit!" Dib exclaimed, and Zim spat an Irken curse that didn't translate.

Dib felt Zim's claws prick his skin as the Irken abruptly changed direction and guided them towards the other fork in the path.

Shots whooshed past them, streaks of bright light flying around and incinerating everything it touched.

Dib faltered when he heard Zim shout in pain, but the Irken still had him in an iron grip and yanked him forward so they didn't lose momentum.

The hallways branched off frequently, leading into different directions that opened up to more hallways. Fortunately, Zim knew the way. He ran gracefully, twisting around corners and changing directions like his body remembered every movement required to reach his destination.

It seemed like only a minute or two had passed by the time their pursuer's footsteps faded away, but they kept running, eager to put as much distance between them as possible. Dib was completely lost, he'd given up on trying to memorize the paths after keeping track of thirty turns. This place was a complete maze.

Eventually they reached a hallway lined with doors where Zim stopped dead. Panting, he rested his face against the reflective door.

A light flashed across the door and it glowed green for a moment and opened. Zim yanked the human inside.

"What the…?" Dib leaned against the door, gasping for breath. His eyes widened as he looked at the crowded room.

It was around the size of his bedroom, but it was packed tightly with fascinating items. There were jars full of preserved alien specimens, weapons of every type, devices of unknown purpose and… was something on fire in the corner? Dib glanced at Zim, who didn't seem concerned.

"What is this place?"

"It's my workroom of course," replied Zim. "Or, it was. When I lived down here."

He looked a little wistful as his eyes scanned over the room's interior. "I'm a little surprised everything's still here," Zim added. "Usually your workroom is cleared when you get old enough to leave Lower Irk." He ran a hand over a half-finished piece on a small table. "There was that time they quarantined it after the explosions but…"

Dib wanted to ask Zim more about his life on Irk, but that could wait until they were home safe. Far away from tonight's execution grounds.

"So, why are we here?" Asked Dib. Not that he was complaining entirely, it was nice to have a breather after all that, but it was hardly progress.

"I told you I had a plan," reminded Zim. "It's perfect. Just follow me!"

With that, he knelt down and crawled under a desk, disappearing beneath.

Dib knelt down, finding a hole in the metallic floor leading into darkness. He hesitated and rose his feet again, looking around the packed room.

"I can't pass on this opportunity," he breathed, opening his trenchcoat and stuffing as many interesting things as he could fit inside.

When his pockets were ready to burst, he took a deep breath, thankful he wasn't claustrophobic, and slipped inside the tunnel.

The cold metal quickly ended and was replaced with a rougher material.

"Zim?" He called out in the darkness, totally blind. There was a tremor of uncertainty in his voice.

A laugh sounded far off below, but his call was otherwise ignored. Dib rolled his eyes, steeling his nerves and resting his weight on his forearms to better fit in the tight space. And he started crawling.

Dib crawled and crawled, spurred on by the echoes of Zim somewhere in the distance.

"I really am insane, aren't I?" He muttered to himself. Here he was, on Irk, fleeing from execution in a dark tunnel inside of the most technologically advanced planet Dib had ever heard of, on the heels of his most hated enemy who he was trusting to save them both. And he had been desperate to accompany Zim to Irk. He'd worked hard to convince the alien to take him along. And now…

Sweat was dripping from his forehead and his breath was fogging his glasses by the time the tunnel widened into a larger space. The air was uncomfortably humid. Dib shakily rose to his feet as soon as there was enough room, able to walk the last few steps towards the soft light that glowed ahead.


	6. Ancient

He emerged from a crack in the wall, into a massive underground cavern.

He froze in awe at the scene before him.

The first thing he noticed was the floor. An ornate swirling pattern covered most of the ground, glowing with pink light. The pink material continued up the sides of buildings that filled the rest of the space. The buildings were a little taller than Dib's house. Their roofs curved elegantly and intricate patterns were carved into the dark stone material. It was so unlike Irk above that Dib briefly wondered if they'd somehow arrived on a different planet.

He shook his head, turning to look at Zim. The little alien had obviously been here before, but he looked at the scene before him and Dib could see some awe reflected in his big bug-like eyes.

"This is part of Ancient Irk, isn't it?" Said Dib.

"Yes," Zim replied. "But it's much older than the citadel. Much, much older."

"It's beautiful."

"Yes…" Zim said absently, then, "I mean, I suppose it would be to your primitive human brain."

"Ugh. How did you find this place?" Dib started to follow the alien, who was heading towards a building.

"Hmm? Oh, well… there was an explosion in my lab one day – it was incredible. The entire training halls shook and I had to scrub the cleansing hall as punishment, I think the teacher drone was jealous of Zim's accomplishment because he could have never created such a-"

" _Zim_ ," Dib interrupted.

The Irken paused for a moment to remember what the human had asked. "Anyway!" He continued, "There was a crack in my workroom afterwards. It got larger after a few… events. It reached down here."

They ascended the steps into one of the buildings, Zim leading the way and Dib trying not to trip as he turned his head in every direction to try and see every detail.

"Does anyone else know about this place?" Asked Dib, ducking as he followed the other through the open doorway.

"No… I never told anyone."

"Why not?" Dib was curious. He would've imagined Zim would be the type to immediately start bragging about a new discovery.

Zim paused, his eyes distant. "They… wouldn't be interested. And it was useful to have this place. Sometimes I would have to… take a break for a few days, especially when the teaching drones would angry with Zim over something."

Dib looked around the interior. It was fairly simple inside, just one large room with dark textured walls. A simple cot was strung up in a corner, and an assortment of metal debris and old tools were piled by the wall.

"I'm guessing that happened often," Dib smirked.

Zim threw his hands up into the air, "They didn't understand my genius! There was the time I found the cure for Vort-pox – do you think they were impressed? No! It was all 'Zim, you can't melt the patient's skin off', but they were fine after the skin grafts!"

"…Right. So, uh, what was the plan again?"

Zim started digging through the pile of debris, still muttering about his teachers having a grudge against him. He pulled out a round devices with an antenna. "Here it is!" He announced proudly. "I'll be on the roof, I get better reception up there." Zim's pak opened and his spider legs popped out.

"Wait, that's it? You're calling someone?" Dib's shoulders slumped.

"Yup!" Zim stepped outside and skittered up the roof.

Dib groaned. Judging by how 'popular' he knew Zim was, he couldn't imagine anyone actually coming to help them.

"Why did I follow him out of the prison?" He asked himself glumly. Zim had just taken them further into danger with each step. "At least this place is incredible."

He left the building to explore more of the area. The buildings were all empty, black dust swirling around as he walked through them. The glowing patterns on the ground continued around the entirety of the cavern. Dib kneeled to get a closer look. What was it? An organic material or Irken-made?

He reached forward to touch it.

"That's highly toxic," Zim's voice chimed in behind him. "At least it is to Irkens, but you should taste some just to be sure."

"After you." Dib replied dryly. "I'm assuming that's how you found out."

"Don't be silly, I-" Zim froze as a deep rumble filled the cavern.

Their eyes met, and Dib could tell from the shocked look on Zim's face that whatever just happened was not normal.

"What was that?" Dib asked, his voice unsteady as he looked for the source.

Another rumble sounded from somewhere above them.

Zim's look of surprise was quickly replaced with anger. "They're using a tunnel driller! And they always told Zim that they couldn't be brought into Lower Irk anymore!"

"They've found us then?" Dib swallowed the lump in his throat as dust started to stream down from above.

"Not yet," Zim replied, still glaring at the ceiling. "We probably have another minute until they break through."

"This is it then. I don't think I could ever imagined this is the way I'd die." Dib sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm his pounding heart.

"You give up too easily, Dib-filth," the Irken turned and gave him a condescending smirk.

Dib wasn't reassured in the slightest. "I'm sure your next plan will go just as well as the previous one did."

"Heh heh, just you watch! All I need is…, oh," Zim patted his pockets and frowned.

"What?"

"Eh… if I just had a small device," the Irken muttered to himself, pulling his pockets inside out.

The rumbling was getting louder, larger pieces had started falling from above.

"Zim, I may have taken a few things from your workshop…" The human opened his trenchcoat, revealing the overstuffed pockets.

The Irken's eyes widened. "You stole from me? How DARE-"

"Now is not the time!" Dib cut in. The rumbling sounded much too close.

"Fine, fine!" Zim grumbled under his breath as the stood on his toes and poked through the human's pockets. He pulled out a small device with wires attached. "This will do." There was a click and it lit up brightly.

"So, uh, what will it do?" Dib watched as the alien tossed it onto the glowing path.

His answer was Zim grabbing his arm in a tight grip and breaking into a run in the other direction.

"Explosive!" Replied Zim between breaths. "Not very powerful, but-"

An enormous crash rang through the area. They'd broken through.

Zim yanked Dib into one of the buildings.

"But what?" He prompted.

"But the glowing stuff is highly reactionary."

"You mean the stuff that's covering nearly the entire floor? That'll kill us too!"

The Irken closed his eyes, his lips moving in a countdown. "Three, two, one…" He opened his eyes. "Er…"

There was an innocent-sounding crackle that bubbled up, first faintly until it reached a crescendo.

Everything went white. They fell to the floor, Dib clutching his ears and squeezing his eyes shut. Heat burst through the building and-

It was gone.

The building was gone. The heat was gone. The cacophony of noise was replaced by a soft electronic hum.

Dib slowly opened his eyes.

"Um, hi!" A chubby Irken stood before them, a slightly confused expression on his face, but he seemed to be friendly.

"SKOODGE!" Zim barked, jumping to his feet. "You were late!"

"Sorry Zim! I didn't have a lot of time to set up the transport. And your co-ordinates were strange, it showed you as being way too deep inside Irk!"

Dib was still laying on the floor, trying to get his bearings. The dark stone floor of the ancient building had been replaced by sleek purple tiles. This room had windows that looked onto stars. Large Irken machines filled the rest of the space.

"What…?" Dib breathed.

"Is it okay?" Skoodge looked down at the human with concern. "What is that anyway?"

"He's fine," Zim replied dismissively. "His brain is probably a bit scrambled from the transport, but humans are already so dumb it won't make a difference."

"I'm going… to dissect you on national television," Dib murmured, still laying on the floor.

"See? He's completely normal," Zim shrugged.

"What's going on, Zim?" Skoodge looked at him with wide eyes. "There's been a lot of commotion on Irk today, you wouldn't, uh, happen to know anything about that?"

"Eh," Zim paused for a moment. "Nope!" He answered, somewhat unconvincingly. "Zim had no part in anything that went on today!"

"But-"

"No time! Skoodge, beam the human and myself to my Voot!"

"Oh, okay!" Skoodge walked over a console and tapped a few keys. "Thanks for visiting me!"

Now that he was braced for it, Dib could feel the strange sensation of his body being transported across space. It was like he had been pulled inside out for a moment, but it passed too quick for him to really feel any discomfort.

The human shakily got his feet and glanced at the area. They were in some kind of parking building for ships. Zim's Voot was directly ahead of them.

The Irken unlocked the ship and gracefully jumped inside. Dib followed, still feeling a little clumsy and disoriented. He leaned back in the seat as Zim initiated take-off.

As the ship rose into the air, the human felt a wave of relief pass through him. They ascended into the stars, no one following, blasting towards Earth.

A few hours passed before either of them spoke.

"So…" Zim began. "What did you think of Irk? Pretty amazing, huh?"

Dib glared at the Irken.

"Speechless, eh? I'm not surprised. There's nothing else like Irk in the universe." Zim glanced back, towards the distant pink planet, a small smile on his face.

"That's one way to put it," Dib muttered.

"I expect you'll want to come back with me next time I go," Zim said matter-of-factly.

Dib jolted up in his seat. "Are you kidding? After what happened today? We got arrested in minutes because of you! Nearly died multiple times, got caught in two explosions and had my matter broken down and transported across a planet!"

Zim looked at him for a long moment.

Dib held his gaze with a glare. Then…

"Yeah. I'm coming back with you."

The Irken grinned and Dib felt himself returning a faint smile. He'd seen Irk and lived to tell the tale. As awful as it had been, he had to admit; Irk was amazing.

END

A/N: Thanks everyone for reading. And especially thank you to eattheboring, who has been very patient with my slow progress on this! I hope you enjoyed – this was a bit different for me, but I had fun with the challenge!


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